Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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Thumbs this up

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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Women deserve equal rights.

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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