Your mum is so dead, when I kick her she doesn't move.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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kesha is a virgin.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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A ginger was with his friends

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Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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