Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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everyone wonders y grandmas dont wear bra's its because if youre that old u might die putting it on

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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this is not a drill.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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knock knock whos there steve i dont know you go away

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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I'm a brony. I'm a brony. I'm a brony. Screw this shit, I'm not a brony anymore. I'm a man. I'm a man. Screw this too. I'm dead, not in bed.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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