What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

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Knock knock.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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