Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

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Flab

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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You wanna see something really scary?

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Penis jokes.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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What's up? Your time.

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That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

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minced oaths

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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women leaving the kitchen

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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