What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Tuberculosis

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Tough crowd tonight...

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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A man walks into a bar, but it was a gay bar, and the man was a homosexual so he stayed and had fun then later that night he went home to his girlfriend

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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