What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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justin littleton. nuff said

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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