how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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poop.

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he reveals a big penis and they have sex there and then.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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