What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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yo momma so fat that she needs to lose weight

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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