What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new car? ....neither did he.

knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What's the capital of Thailand? The letter 'T'...

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

Josh kissing a girl

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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