How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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Why can't february march Because april may

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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