WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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What's red, white, and blue? light purple

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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