What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was shot. why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought they were playing a game. why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? it thought it was a koala. why'd the man fall of his bike? it was hit by 3 koala's and a refrigerator.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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Anthony sucks

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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