Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A jew went to Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How much did the Holla Cost?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A pregnant woman walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender refuses to give the woman alcohol because he acknowledges a health risk for her unborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +325

Asian NASCAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

One day, on a train. 30 white, violently, racist people where crowding a black man minding his own business. An asian person walked through and was kicked, stabbed and stomped on until he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops