What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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What did the teacher do? He taught.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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