Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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