Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

Obama Getting Re-Elected.

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

oh hiya come in

A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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