What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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all these jokes are horrible now

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

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A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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what has 50 legs, but can't walk? half of a centipede

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops