A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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What do you call a medical student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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