Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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Dylan Eichas

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I'm a white rapper bro I do it all the time People don't like me cuz my words don't match

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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Why does everyone hate on justin beiber cause its easy

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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