OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This is not Will Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

once you go black your credit goes wack

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops