What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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