Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Every human being has some kind of penis <3

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

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what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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