What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

There was a white kid named Tyrone.

Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...