What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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Jellybeans

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? There was a huge pile of dead babies blocking his path.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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