Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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Fox News

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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Poop

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THUMBS THIS DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! TOTAL PEOPLE DIED FROM THUMBING THIS DOWN: 147289347809237489

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

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what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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