people magazine

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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KONY 2012

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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I like your hair

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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