What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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What's the deal with airline food?

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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