how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

What's the deal with airline food?

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

pineapples

Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

Justin Bieber hits puberty

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

one day i went to bed

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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