- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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Trashcan!

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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