(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I am homeless, Can I have some food?

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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