What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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noodles

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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My sister has to take a dump

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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wanna hear a joke? women rights. -ZombieUr

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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