What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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Replacement Referees

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Why Because

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Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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