What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

Pandas Everywhere!!!

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

What's a foot long and slippery A dick

roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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