Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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Dislike this.

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How do you kill a Jew? Shoot him in the head.

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A man. That is all.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

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version 2 knock knock, whose there FU CK FU CK who FU CK YOU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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