What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

hi mom

What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

am i invited to party? no

What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

What's gay and ugly? An ugly gay.

abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

a blind man walks into a wall

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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