What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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An antijoke

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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Dead babies.

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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Womens rights

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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