once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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no

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Wy did the chicken?

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

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Why didn't the Hawaiian man know how to surf? He lives in Kansas

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Who does creatine? James Cornish

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

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How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is an antijoke It doesn't have to rhyme.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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