What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

one day 2 strawberrys walked to the ice cream store and ordered a small cup of banana ice cream they were realley happy they were later taken in and tortured and raped

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sloths

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

thumb_up thumb_down -32

There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a black man that sells drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the boy laughing? Because

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops