how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

Black people stink of shite!

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped and murdered 8.

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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