A women left the kitchen.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

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Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Rob Bell

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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