What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wanna hear an inside joke? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Once upon a time there was a prince and a princess. They married as was the social custom of the time, and produced a series of children whose purpose was to sustain the royal bloodline for many years to come. AF

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +6

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops