Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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