How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?' The horse says "I was just diagnosed with testicular cancer."

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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Your Mom The End.

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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