Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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