A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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Yo mama is so fat when she went to the fat contest they said SORRY no pros alowed

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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