What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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Jayden Eccles

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-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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