A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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Why was the African Americanfemale at an abortion clinic? Because she just killed a child.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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