What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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knock knock whos there your mother open the door

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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