Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

No, Trinidad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's a small person? A midget

thumb_up thumb_down +44

This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops