Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

thumb_up thumb_down +22

if you don't like this you're gay

thumb_up thumb_down +1

ejaculation JLR

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

split your ass cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

thumb_up thumb_down -16

LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops