What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

look left now look right. washing machine

Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

kk

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...