Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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Stop being a centipede

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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women's rights

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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123457

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops