What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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Your Mom The End.

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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