How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

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Women's Rights

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I like poo F*** on You By drew bolton

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops