Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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