Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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a man is running away

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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full house

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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whats up fuch you bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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