A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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Turn around.

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

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What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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