two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I Have a Black Friend

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

woman..parallel parking

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops