jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Rachel not blowing Robert.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops