One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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