What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

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an athiest walks into a church

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How to confuse a dumbass: see previous post.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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Women's rights

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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